Carlin on Countdown

A master comic tackles the absurd -- from Governor Bush,
to cellphones that make pancakes.

Colbert '08

You'd think that after a performance like this, the news
media would get the hint that the joke is on them.

But of course, you'd be wrong.

Stark Contrast

Rep. Pete Stark (D-CA) exposes the mean-spirited lunacy
of President Bush's veto of legislation that would expand
the SCHIP program:

First of all, I'm just amazed that they can't
figure out-- the Republicans are worried that
we can't pay for insuring an additional ten
million children. They sure don't care about
finding $200 billion to fight the illegal war
in Iraq. Where are you gonna get that money?
You gonna tell us lies, like you're telling us
today? Is that how you're going to fund the
war? You don't have the money to fund the war
or children, but you're going to spend it to
blow up innocent people, if we could get enough
kids to grow old enough for you to send to
Iraq to get their heads blown off for the
President's amusement.

Sadly, Stark's speech couldn't convince Republicans to do
the right thing and override President 24%. I guess they
were afraid it might make him feel irrelevant.

Pot meets Kettle

I love the smell of hypocrisy in the morning!


The guy who directed Jack, Captain EO, and a Dracula
movie starring Keanu Reeves is disappointed with the
career choices some of his peers have made recently.

I met both Pacino and DeNiro when they were
really on the come," Coppola tells GQ's
Nate Penn. "They were young and insecure.
Now Pacino is very rich, maybe because he
never spends any money; he just puts it in
his mattress. DeNiro was deeply inspired by
(Coppola's studio American) Zoetrope and
created an empire and is wealthy and powerful.

Nicholson was -- when I met him and worked
with him -- he was always kind of a joker.
He's got a little bit of a mean streak. He's
intelligent, always wired in with the big
guys and the big bosses of the studios.

I don't know what any of them want anymore.
I don't know that they want the same things.
Pacino always wanted to do theater... (He)
will say, 'Oh, I was raised next to a furnace
in New York, and I'm never going to go to
L.A.,' but they all live off the fat of the land.

[...]

I think if there was a role that DeNiro was
hungry for, he would come after it. I don't
think Jack would. Jack has money and influence
and girls, and I think he's a little bit like
(Marlon) Brando, except Brando went through
some tough times. I guess they don't want to
do it anymore.

The horror... the horror.

I Will Survive

Sen. Larry "Wide Stance" Craig decides, on second thought,
he won't resign.

Idaho Sen. Larry Craig lost a bid Thursday
to withdraw his guilty plea in a men's
room sex sting but defiantly vowed to
finish his Senate term, prolonging a
headache for Republican leaders already
facing a tough political climate.

Craig had announced plans to resign his
seat by Sept. 30, but wavered when he went
to court in hopes of withdrawing his plea.
He issued a statement Thursday on staying
in the Senate shortly after Idaho Gov. C.L.
"Butch" Otter, R, relayed word that he had
selected a replacement for Craig in the
event of a vacancy.

This should prove interesting. But for now, I have to
agree with Josh Marshall that Craig has done a
masterful job at containing and defusing a scandal that
should have ended his career in politics the moment it
hit the front page.

Let's review, news breaks that Craig, a
social conservative and strong opponent
of gay rights, got nabbed for propositioning
a man for sex in a public restroom -- a
misdemeanor to which he later pleaded guilty.
That's just a bad news day.

So Craig's fellow Republicans basically do
everything short of physically forcing him
to resign. He "resigns". Only it's not a
resignation. Rather, it's a rather ingenious
ploy to let the temperature ease off on the
story, a post-dated resignation. Then it's
not a resignation. He's going to fight the
guilty plea -- something of a novelty in the
annals of jurisprudence. He'll stay in office
if he can get his plea withdrawn. And now he
can't get his guilty plea withdrawn so, well,
too bad. He's staying anyway.

Hmm... a resignation that isn't really a resignation.
Kind of like torture that isn't really torture. It may
sound crazy to the rest of us, but it all makes perfect
sense to the beautiful minds of the GOP.

Amazin'

You really got to hand it to the Mets -- always finding new
and interesting ways to lose when it counts the most.

Yesterday, the Mets completed one of the
most stunning collapses in baseball history
with an embarrassing 8-1 loss to Florida.
The season-ending nightmare began almost
immediately, as sugarplum dreams of a
weekend revival quickly dissolved. The “Let’s
Go Mets” chants that rocked the stadium
15 minutes before the game quickly gave
way to cries of despair.

On Sept. 12, the Mets had a seven-game
lead over Philadelphia with 17 games to play.
A confident David Wright said: “You couldn’t
have picked a better time to peak. This is the
best baseball we’ve played all season.”

But then came the tailspin, and no amount
of huffing and puffing, no amount of bravado,
could pull the Mets out of it. On Saturday,
they appeared to keep hope alive with a 13-0
victory. As it turned out, that victory was
simply a last-gasp thank you to Mets fans for
hanging in. Yesterday, there was nothing left
from a team that has now humiliated itself and
its fans.

And with that, the horrible memories of 2004 are washed
away from the minds of Yankees fans throughout the city.
New York has a new definition for the word choke, and it
looks a lot like Tom Glavine and José Reyes.

As the Phillies closed in this month, the Mets
forgot the brand of baseball that had brought
them to the cusp of another division title. If the
biggest culprit was the poor showing by the
pitching staff, which posted a 5.96 earned run
average over the final 17 games, then Reyes’s
noticeable descent ranked second. Over the last
two months, he batted .240 and committed the
sort of mental mistakes that come with a gap in
maturity. The fans, who so often chanted “José,
José, José,” are left wondering what has become
of their favorite player.

“They wanted me to do good, so that’s why they
booed me,” Reyes said.

And all summer long, Eric Alterman has complained about
the lack of Mets coverage in the NY Times compared to
their pinstriped rivals in the Bronx -- despite holding the
division lead for nearly the entire season. Well, with a story
like this one, I think that ratio is due to change -- at least
until the playoffs. Be careful what you wish for, bub.