27 August 2007

Bedtime for Gonzo

Well it sure did take a while, but at long last, it
appears we won't have Fredo to kick around anymore.
All I can say to the man who designed the Patriot Act,
legalized torture, and supervised warrantless
surveillance on American citizens is good riddance.

Considering how his partners in crime like Libby &
Rummy have managed to walk away unscathed from
the twisted, burning wreak that was once our American
democracy, I have little hope that Abu Gonzales will
ever be brought to justice. But though this incompetent
stooge, like some horrible disease, cannot be
eradicated, he can at least be contained within an
environment where he can do less harm to fewer
people. A place already familiar with this deadly strand
of compassionate conservatism. A place like… Texas.

But of course, no resignation by a disgraced White
House official is complete without the standard Lewis
Carroll-esque commentary
by President Bush. And once
again, he does not disappoint.

"After months of unfair treatment that has
created ... a harmful distraction at the Justice
Department, Judge Gonzales has decided to
resign his position, and I accept his decision,"
Bush told reporters as he prepared to board
Marine One. "It's sad that we live in a time
when a talented and honorable person like
Alberto Gonzales is impeding (sic) from doing
important work because his good name was
dragged through the mud for political

I actually had to stop typing for a moment to wipe the
tears off my keyboard.

Not surprisingly, Jon Stewart figured out the Gonzales
playbook a long time ago and spelled it out perfectly in an
interview with Bill Moyers.

JON STEWART: For instance, Alberto Gonzales,
and you've been watching the hearings. He is
either a perjurer, or a low-functioning pinhead.
And he allowed himself to be portrayed in those
hearings as a low-functioning pinhead, rather
than give the Congressional Committee charged
with oversight, any information as to his
decision-making process at the Department of

And I used to think, "They're doing this based on
a certain arrogance." And now, I realize that it's
because they believe there is one accountability
moment for a President, and that is the four year
election. And once you get that election, you're

BILL MOYERS: They're right, are they not?

JON STEWART: They're completely not right. The
election moment is merely the American public
saying, "We'd rather you be President than that
guy." That's it. The next four years, though, you
still have to abide by the oversight process that is
there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-
like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept
that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and
Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our

BILL MOYERS: Tens of thousands, hundreds of
thousands of words were written about Gonzales'
testimony last week in Congress. And I still don't
think a lot of people get it. And all of the sudden,
there on THE DAILY SHOW that evening, you
distilled the essence of it.


JON STEWART: And by the way, that was all just
-- that was a game, and he knew it, and the guys
on the committee knew it. And for the President
to come out after that and say, "Everything I saw
there gave me more confidence in him," that
solidified my notion that, "Oh, it's because what
he expected of Gonzalez was" it's sort of like, do
you remember in GOODFELLAS? When Henry Hill got
arrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro met
him at the courthouse and Henry Hill was really
upset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would be
really mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him and
he gives him a $100 and he goes, "You got pinched.
We all get pinched, but you did it right, you
didn't say nothing."

BILL MOYERS: Gonzales said nothing.

JON STEWART: Right. And "you went up there and
said nothing. You gave them no legal recourse
against you, and you made yourself a smart man,
a self-made man look like an utter pinhead on
national television, and you did it for me."

That's what friends are for.

Finally, for those of you keeping score, Paul Kiel has a nifty
of the numerous Justice Department resignations
that have occurred in the wake of the U.S. attorney firing
scandal. It’s a ridiculously long list. In fact, it might have
been easier to just announce who’s left.